DATE: AUGUST 31, 1998
I am a banshee, as evidenced by my howl: Waaaaaaaaaahhoooooooooooooooeeeeeeeeeooooooooooo.
I should be on "Darby O'Gill and the Little People". I would comb and comb my ghostly hair and I would scream at that old man and then I'd go to the catering tent and get a sandwich.
DATE: JULY 22, 1998
Last night I suspect that Jujie (baby sis) must've eaten a bowl of sugar--she was absolutely hyper. She kept saying, "Let's play a game, let's play a game...let's PLAY a game, GAME GAME, lessplayagamegameGAME!!!" Over and over and OVER.
So I said, "OK, let's play The QUIET Game." She lasted about a minute and a half at that before she started screaming again.
So I said, "Let's play Sitting In the Rocking Chair." (I was in it already.)
"There isn't any room for me!"
"Weeell, I guess YOU can't play then."
"WA-ahhhhhh!"
"Then let's play 'Well Begun is Half Done'."
"Hrumph!"
This all took place at about 10:30pm. That girl must have followed up her bowl of sugar with a sugar cube chaser, because her hyperness was only increasing the later it got. Even hyper, she is cute, so I caved and told her I'd be her game-stooge.
We ended up in parents' room where Lols (mom) was relaxing on her bed. Here, Jujie told me we were going to play the funnest sleepover party games ever! Hoo-boy. I loves me the sleepover party games.
She told me to lie down on the floor. "Ok," I said, "but I don't want this to be one of those things where you fall on me, or even pretend to fall on me. And I don't want to get wet."
She started her game (verbatim follows): "There are tall trees everywhere, and the man swings the ax--" She started swinging her arms around violently. "--at the tree, chop chop chop. But the ax MISSES the tree, and gets the owner!"
She jabbered on and on, becoming completely incoherent.
"So, swing swing swing and it gets the MAN!" At this point, despite of my earlier protest, she came crashing down on top of me. Whump! I'm not as young as I once was and I'm sure she broke my hip. Fun game!
I bloody well knew she was going to fall on me. And SHE knew that I knew it but did it anyway.
Next she told me she's got another fun game and that I was to stay on the floor. "Please don't jump on poor ol' me this time," I said.
This game went a little something like: "Pocahontas is out in the forest. She goes to the stream---" She followed with a VERY long, incoherent saga involving Pocahontas. "---And THEN, an arrow shoots! And it gets Pocahontas!!!! AAAARGH!" She SCREAMED, and then---yes---once again she jumped on me. Now I've got a matched set of broken hips.
Final game: Jujie instructed me to go in the bathroom and not to come out until she was ready. When I was called back out, she had three chairs set up in a row, all of them completely covered with a blanket. Jujie had dragooned Lols into her twisted little-girl game world, because Lols was seated on the far left chair. Jujie sat on the far right chair, so the middle spot was mine.
"Sit down," she said, "we have to take your X-rays." I could see where this game was going. Sooner or later my chair was going to disappear, and I would fall---ha ha ha ha---onto the floor.
"OK, but I don't want to sit on a chair that isn't there," I said. I am such a party-pooper. But I sat down and Lols & Jujie took my X-rays--a process where Jujie manhandled me and made whooshing and clicking noises.
"Now," said Jujie, "Go BACK into the bathroom....."
"OK..."
When I was called me back out, Jujie said that they needed to take some more X-rays and for me to sit down again. Mom and Jujie were once again seated on the two outer chairs. The blanket was still stretched over all of the chairs and I could see plain as day that the middle chair was now missing from beneath its blanket cover.
Mom, this whole time, has been stifling giggles at Jujie's ingenuousness. Her eyes were watering and she looked like she was going to do herself some damage if she held it in much longer.
"Oh, look," I said flatly, "my chair is gone."
"Just SIT there!"
So I smacked the middle of the blanket with my foot, which resulted in Jujie becoming unbalanced and tumbling into the chair-hole.
"HEY!"
I had to laugh and laugh. Jujie went through all of this drama, knowing that I already knew the punchline. I guess this officially makes me an old fuddy-duddy---this and my broken hips.
In my defense Mom couldn't stop laughing either.
At the end of all of this time it was about 11:30pm. Time for some more sugar...
DATE: JULY 14, 1998
Yes, once again it is I, Captain Vegetable, with my carrots and my celery.
I'm taking a break from doing GROTTY (with a capital ROTTY) dishes. I've done one sink-full and only have about ten more sink-fulls to go. Argh! I'd pay someone a thousand dollars if they'd do them. I offered my $1000 to Mom and she laughed, though I kid her not.
Here's el stupido thing: we have a dishwasher in this nice, nice new house, but it won't work because the electrical circuit it's on (which is also the one the garbage disposal is on---and the electrical outlet in the bathroom) has burned out somehow. We've flipped ALL of the circuit breakers a million times to no avail.
So I'm stuck doing these nasty dishes by hand and hating every second of it. It wasn't so long ago that I'd shell out the big bucks to my siblings not to have to do dishes on my day.
Next on the list of grotesqueries: I can't put any slimy scraps of food-rubbish into the garbage disposal---I have to carry it all outside. And, we can't dry our hair or plug in the curling iron in the bathroom. Nice house.
Also, I'm STINKING hot because this is summer, and this is the desolate desert, and it is a billion degrees Fahrenheit outside, and we have no stinking trees to blot out the evil sun and the "refrigeration" in our nice, nice new house bites the big one.
The people who built this house weren't exactly tip-top in the smarts department. They put in far too small a refrigeration unit. They also put ALL of the vents in the master bedroom and almost none in the front of the house where people are most of the time. So you freeze in the bedroom and fry in the kitchen/living room. And because the unit is so gutless and small, we have to turn it down to approx forty degrees early in the morning and keep the blinds closed all day to shut out the Devil Sun and keep ALL of the fans on, just to stay ahead of the heat. N-I-C-E.
My, I didn't know I had such a diatribe inside of me. I have a headache. My hands are pruny, and I'm not even a tenth of the way done with the dishes. I guess that I'll just cry and cry.
Switching tracks:
Chien-Po (little bro) and I almost wrecked on the freeway coming home from San Jorge today. That's the closest I've ever come. I was behind a van (VAN 1) in the passing lane and we were passing another van (VAN 2) that was in the slow lane and was behind a very SLOW RV (is there such a thing a fast RV?).
As soon as I'm equal with VAN 2, it decides it wants to pass the RV it's behind. So VAN 2 starts coming into my lane and it doesn't stop! I had to go off of the road as far as I could, but at that point on the freeway, there's a cement divider and NO shoulder and no where for me to go.
I couldn't speed up because VAN 1 was still in front of me. It was also too late to step on the brakes. The VAN 2 idiot kept coming and coming! I was honking and screaming at it, and Chien-Po was as white as a sheet (no doubt having Oak Grove Wreck flashbacks).
I honestly do not know how a wreck was avoided, because VAN 2 came all of the way over into my lane. Suddenly, we were magically in front of the offending VAN 2, and out of harm's way. I can't explain. We had ten times the usual allotment of guardian angels today.
I reckon I should get back to my other nine sink fulls of hateful dishes. Criminitly.
DATE: JULY 04, 1998
I watched the USA Original Picture "Buried Alive Part II" this week and hoo-boy, let me tell you, it is every bit as good as "Buried Alive" the original. The moment you bury a character alive, it's instantly a great movie, not to mention it stars the very pointy, blade-faced Ally Sheedy. She makes one very fabulous buried alive lady. I can't wait until "Buried Alive Part III" comes out. That'll be Some Pig.
I'm such a lazy face on this July 4th. Here it is nearly 11:00am and I'm still jammied up. We're going over to Auntie Shirley's at 2:00 to have luncheon with her fam.
My pop wants to go fishing today. He's really into fishing lately (all because one TEEEEEEENY fishy accidentally got snagged on his hook up at the Pickett reunion so now Dad thinks he is a fisherman). Tee-hee-hee.
DATE: JUNE 29, 1998
We got back from camping this weekend up at Pine Valley for the Pickett family reunion. It was fun, except for the dirt and the bugs and the and sleeping on the cold, hard ground and the long hours of tedium. And none of us thought to bring food...
But really, it WAS fun. I like my family and extended family. They are a rowdy bunch of yahoos. Love 'em. I did have to take a break from all the dirty, buggy, cold-hard-ground fun to dash (hour drive) home and have me a shower. It seems that you have only to step outside whilst up in the mountains and you're instantly filthy.
My pop went "fishing." I don't know what he does when he fishes, but it certainly isn't what everyone else does. However, this time he actually caught a little fish---a fish that must've been old or smokin' the weed or something to have gotten hooked by Pop. Dad is about as good at fishing as he is at pruning shrubs (i.e. none good).
Something Dad is good at: scaring the snot out of Megan (my little cousin) and Jujie (my little sis) with his campfire stories. He doesn't present them as stories, though. At least not the "once upon a time" sense. He'll casually say, "Hey, Lolene (mom), do you remember last time we camped up here for the Kelwood party, and we were the last ones to leave and it was dark and suddenly there was that 10-foot man just standing behind that pine tree over there?" Then he'll elaborate further.
It made Jujie MAD. She was so scared. Mom had to promise her that Dad was just teasing. Jujie said, "I don't mind scary stories, but you CAN'T pretend that they are real!" Neither she nor Megan would go into their tent alone, so I had to take them and make sure that all the windows were zipped up tight, and that the door was securely fastened. They both huddled together in the very center of the tent.
Tee-hee-hee. I remember when it was me huddled there.
DATE: MARCH 10, 1998
I spent all of yesterday over at the old house cleaning and mucking-out. It turned out to be pretty fun. It was just me and Dad for most of the day. We still had all of the junk over there that we were originally going to yard sale. And then putting on a yard sale seemed too hard---so we were going to take the junk to the D.I. Then even that seemed too hard and too far to drive, so Dad decided to haul it all off to the dump.
Well, we start hauling the junk outside, and Dad turns to me and says, "Awwww, go ahead and make up a sign, Janna, let's sell this crap. Even if we only make a couple of bucks."
There was nothing decent to make a sign with, so I rummaged and found 2 trashy pieces of paper and some old craft paint and cobbled a couple of tatty signs together, using a piece of toilet paper as a paint brush.
We hung one of the signs on HWY 59...excellent for advertising to Our Friends of Colorado City (monarchs of the yard-sale-world). The other one we put on the windshield of my car which was parked out front. Dad was loving it and was giggling constantly.
Even though it was a Monday, and we started at about 10:00am, and hadn't even advertised in advance, we ended up making about $110.00 dollars and getting rid of most of the pile of junk. Pretty nifty.
Neither of us wanted to sit with the yard sale though. I kept saying I'd clean and he could sit there, and he said, "No, I'll clean and YOU sit there." I did NOT want to be the Yard Sale Girl, but I was stuck with it. I can't believe that people bought some of that crap.
Near the end of the day, I started selling everything that was left for a quarter. We made approx $20.00 bucks that way. Do you REALIZE how many grotty pieces of .25-cent junk you have to SELL TO MAKE FREAKING $20.00?
I also sold all of my manky old clothes and only kept the things I actually wear. And it sold. Someone out there is going to be very poorly dressed.
The old house is now totally empty and pretty much cleaned. But even clean, I know that I would be discouraged if I were moving in there. I think it'd discouraging to move into anywhere that isn't brand new, or recently built; there's grunge that can't be gotten rid of.
It's unsettling to think that after today, we won't be going back to that house. We can't just walk in. We'd have to knock and be invited in. It'll be someone else's house, their home, and they would live there and bash around all those familiar rooms.
DATE: JANUARY 01, 1998
I found my old journal and it has exactly one entry in it (I am not a frequent writer). So I thought I'd transcribe it here, as my first blog entry.
I was 10 or 11 years-old at the time and I've entered this exactly as it was written---spelling, punctuation, missing words and all:
The 4th of July was soooo fun this year. We don't have to do any work except just sort of pick up. In the morning me and my mom and dad went to the park (the 2 oldest boys Aaron and Andy were gone camping so it was fun) and watched my mom and my Aunt Joyce sing a song about the Statue of Liberty (My mom mad the song up she's a composer too!) it was pretty.
Then we watched my sister (Katie) perform. After, my mom gave Kendall and me $2.00 to spend on tickets. We got ten with it. I won Kendall a couple of prizes then both of us went home. At home I got $10.00 of my money to go by fireworks at a stand. Kendall came with me. I bought a whole bunch of fireworks.
After I got home I ran into some of my best friends. Earl Farnsworth, Linda Reeve and Sage Reeve and Shea Farnsworth and Kelly Williamson. Earl is madly in love with Linda, but she doesn't like him for a boy-friend. She likes Jeff Stratton better. Jeff is Earl's best friend and is better looking than Earl that's why so many of Earl's girlfriends fall for Jeff. Earl doesn't know that Linda doesn't like him for a boyfriend, and it would kill him if he found out, so we have to keep quiet.
Well, anyway I donated my fireworks to thier party and they let me in thier club (Katie is already in) In it you always wear a bandana around your neck tied in a knot and sunglasses. Our party was going to be right after the big fireworks. We all went over to Earl's house to store our fireworks and Earl's little brother (James) started to follow us, so we ran to Lin's and hid in thier bathrooms.
Then we went over to Kelly's apartment and danced to some rock-n-roll. After we came to our house and listend to rock-n-roll while we talked. Then we went over to the Gee's house and Katie got her babysitting money which we bought a pizza and Ice-cream with for our party. She and Earl and Kelly had to go home then so me, Katie, Sage, and Linda sat and talked. Pretty soon they had to go home.
About at 9:00 pm. we all met again to walk up to the Ball field to see the fireworks. It was along time before they started, so we all began to sing and shout and make fools of ourselves while we waited. Soon Mr. Hill (a drama teacher in highschool that everyone likes. he's weird!!) showed up. so we all started to yell "Mr. Hill is a wierdo. Pretty soon he came running over and tackled us.
Then the fireworks started. They were neat. We started to walk home before they ended so we wouldn't get caught in the traffic. When we got home it was party time! Earl brought punch and Katie cooked the pizza. Linda and Sage brought over mine and thier fireworks over and Shea and Kelly showed up.
After we eat and talked, we went out and let off fireworks. they were cool. We had tons of them (mostly mine) at midnight my dad came out and told me and Katie to come in. It was embaressing to have a parent come out like that and we weren't done yet, but we came in anyway. It was fun. Oh I forgot when we were lighting off fireworks James came over. He's a bratt and a copy catter. Well goodnight. bye
